To Luv Gut
            after Words with Friends with Michael Schmidt

To luv gut, pec, achoo,
globes, art, hairy ewe.
Lo tower quad pix, shied,
vide zoner yin, fined.
Ate tad rei: la na ka.

Him hippier kisses hews,
dieter trout, juicy tax tune.
Na na mu lea, shove old Baal, get awe.
Lo, jot id, ad gone.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Verbal

Devil is to hell as:

a)    Jesus is to heaven

think about this if you have time, but think about it in terms of crickets and grasshoppers instead of people, Christians and Jews and maybe the Sikh man who owns the liquor store (a locust?)—is heaven a place or a state of mind? a top-shelf  trick? listen, I’ve never been a prophet, but the ladder to heaven is made of handlebar moustaches

b)   Allophone is to phoneme

if a tongue falls in a forest and makes a sound the ear cannot distinguish from another, different sound, does it really make a different sound at all? and if a fungus is a type of plant, sort of, and thrush is a fungus of the mouth, couldn’t the flexing of the tongue to manipulate the sounds that vibrate from our vocal chords be a sort of tree, falling in the forest? (how many trees make a forest?—if three is a pride, and four is a nursery, maybe five or more a forest, means thrush is out

c)    Bakhtin is to Kustanai

will the devil ever get reprieve? will the scholars remember him once he’s dead? I’ll bet he knows more about language than our boy Bakhtin, I’ll bet he knows a hell of a lot, no pun intended. when I was a boy it was, Psych! when I was a boy it was those pencils with the psychedelic designs and one with an eraser like an upturned witch’s cauldron. pun spells poon in the International Phonetic Alphabet. poon is now more widely accepted than traveler’s checks

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Paul Ryan’s Widow’s Peak
            after PD

Paul Ryan’s widow’s peak is like a breath between the twin fists of freedom.
Paul Ryan’s widow’s peak is is an aphrodisiac as effective as a rhino’s horn. (Very.)
Paul Ryan’s widow’s peak was almost aborted, but its mom decided not to do it at the last minute so thank God it’s here.
Paul Ryan’s widow’s peak is George Clooney’s younger brother.
Paul Ryan’s widow’s peak goes raw.
Paul Ryan’s widow’s peak speaks to the Hispanic demographic.
Paul Ryan’s widow’s peak, the new piece by Damien Hirst.
Paul Ryan’s widow’s peak is the Halloween costume of 2012.
Paul Ryan’s widow’s peak could outsnowmobile Sarah Palin.
Paul Ryan’s widow’s peak pays for its own birth control.
Paul Ryan’s widow’s peak is a bipartisan plan to curb the debt.
Paul Ryan’s widow’s peak is God’s election.
Paul Ryan’s widow's peak is my erection.
Paul Ryan’s widow’s peak does not redistribute wealth.
Paul Ryan’s pinko widow’s peak. Psych!
Paul Ryan’s widow’s peak grew up in small town Wisconsin.
Paul Ryan’s widow’s peak is happily married.
Paul Ryan’s widow’s peak’s wife wears a conservative one piece.
Paul Ryan’s widow’s peak’s
Paul Ryan’s widow’s peak plays wide receiver for the Green Bay Packers.
Paul Ryan’s widow’s peak for Vice President!
Paul Ryan’s widow’s peak speaks to the gay demographic.
Paul Ryan’s widow’s peak was nicknamed Bean.
Paul Ryan’s widow’s peak for President!
Paul Ryan’s widow’s peak plays cornhole.
Paul Ryan’s widow’s peak wins at cornhole.
Paul Ryan’s handsome widow’s peak.
Paul Ryan’s widow’s peak is an upside down volcano and its lava is his brain.
Paul Ryan’s widow’s peak is pasted to his forehead.
Paul Ryan’s widow’s peak is pasted to his forehead with gel.
Paul Ryan’s widow’s peak speaks to the ironic hipster demographic.
Paul Ryan’s widow’s peak is sponsored by Paul Mitchell.
Paul Ryan’s widow’s peak runs a two minute mile.
Paul Ryan’s widow's peak runs faster than iOS6.
Paul Ryan’s widow’s peak has its own flavor of Vitamin Water.
Paul Ryan’s widow’s peak was an altar boy.
Paul Ryan’s widow’s peak only speaks one language.
Paul Ryan’s widow’s peak speaks freedom.
Paul Ryan’s widow’s peak recites Kurt Schwitters’ Ursonate.
Paul Ryan’s widow’s peak is a poem.
Paul Ryan’s widow’s peak is a poem, a stink, a grating noise, a quality of light, a tone, a habit, a nostalgia, a dream.
Paul Ryan’s widow’s peak for democracy and freedom!